Before I started this journey, I was always a big ball of emotions. No matter what was going on in my life currently, I had emotions that were deep rooted that may have nothing to do with current life. It would have been fine if they were peaceful emotions, but they most definitely were not. Not joy, but anger. Not peace, but anxiety.
Someone could tell me something and I would dissect it to no end. I really thought that was normal. Girls overthink, I'm a girl so logically, I overthink. I would take ideas that people threw at me to places that they did not need to go. My logic was never really logical.
One of the best things that I have been able to do ever since I uncovered my real self is that I can sit in peace and not overthink. I am not anxious. Having numerous things to do does not send me panicking. I do not race to my familiar past when my current situations are not that bright, instead I look to the future, positively.
I have never been a person that can relax. I would fake relax by watching netflix and zoning out the world around me. I do not have to do that anymore. I can finally control my thoughts. I can finally sit there and not think about a thing. I can finally put more importance on things going on in current events, pop culture, and hell, even politics because I'm no longer stressing about my past. I'm not stressing on how to be this nice person that fits this mold of niceness. I'm not stressing on the decisions I make and whether they hurt/bother anyone. I'm not saying that I am transforming into this vile person who does not take into consideration anyone else at all, but I am finally putting myself first.
I have the right to put myself first because if I don't, no one else will.
Someone could tell me something and I would dissect it to no end. I really thought that was normal. Girls overthink, I'm a girl so logically, I overthink. I would take ideas that people threw at me to places that they did not need to go. My logic was never really logical.
One of the best things that I have been able to do ever since I uncovered my real self is that I can sit in peace and not overthink. I am not anxious. Having numerous things to do does not send me panicking. I do not race to my familiar past when my current situations are not that bright, instead I look to the future, positively.
I have never been a person that can relax. I would fake relax by watching netflix and zoning out the world around me. I do not have to do that anymore. I can finally control my thoughts. I can finally sit there and not think about a thing. I can finally put more importance on things going on in current events, pop culture, and hell, even politics because I'm no longer stressing about my past. I'm not stressing on how to be this nice person that fits this mold of niceness. I'm not stressing on the decisions I make and whether they hurt/bother anyone. I'm not saying that I am transforming into this vile person who does not take into consideration anyone else at all, but I am finally putting myself first.
I have the right to put myself first because if I don't, no one else will.
No comments:
Post a Comment